yEs tHatS aCtUaLLy mE La m0m

Sejak dari kecik aku impikan untuk hidup sendiri..

Hidup berdikari sendiri walaupun org kata hidup sendiri ni susah..

Tapi aku tetap nk hidup sendiri...

Sebab mungkin dari kecik parents aku jenis kongkong je..

Tak de life dengan kawan-kawan sangat..

Tak de life luar..Tak kenal dunia realiti...

Its maybe good and to some extent it may not...

Hmm.. So dari kecik aku memang pasang azam,..

Once I step into university, I will do anything that I like..
Thats was my azam...

And yes.. I did it.. I try semua bende..

Its kind of culture shock maybe...

But still la.. with limitation...

I am not membabi buta...

Semua bende here means I did everything..

Like, hanging out day and night, wearing whatever I like,..

Watching movies, bowling... All activities that teen like..

Hmmm... And thats only for two years je.. 

Zaman matric... Matriculation dulu, study senang.. 

So banyak masa la utk keep trying all of those things kan..huhu..

When came into bachelor time, mmg tak ade masa sangat la..

Masa banyak habis kt padang kawad...

Balas dendam sebab dulu time sekolah umi tak kasi masuk polis..

Alasannya, campur gn laki..

And sampai university, I just register without inform her first..

Sori mom, I rebel.. huhu...

One of my greatest achievement. Thanks God

Then masa kt bachelor dulu, mcm2 orang aku kawan..

Macam2 orang aku kenal, aku jumpe...

And once bachelor was done...

I was like... STUCK!!!

Again stuck in my own house.. Family house...

Oh shit man!!... I cant do this.. I cant do that..

What the hell am I at that time...

Time tu memang rasa grm, membara2 je hati ni...

Otak ligat cari jalan keluar..

Out of my own house.. Out of my own state..

Out of Johor.. Tak nak stay Johor...

Time tu satu cita2, hanyalah to say goodbaye to Johor..

Berkat sabar, di offer Master and research assistance (RA)..

Menggelitik nak pergi.. Tak tahan nak keluar from that stuck..

Berkeras with own decision..

I SHOULD GO...YES I MUST GO.. AGAIN I HAVE TO GO!!!..

So I go..

Bekerja sambil belajar..

Its hard actually to do two different things in the same situation..

But then, in the name of nak keluar rumah...

I force myself to face all of this..

Because thats the only way that I can do...

Sori mom dad, I purposely did that..

And now, Im 'happy' furthering my Master..

And even thats was one of my vision before...

Habis master, confirm my parents suruh balik Johor...

But againn... I dont wanna stuck in that stuck anymore...

Another strategy...haha

But then I planned to complete my PhD la...

But not in Malaysia..

Im not just wanna say goodbye to Johor..

But I also dream to say goodbye to Malaysia..

Mimpi yang dh lama di impikan actually.. 

Say goodbye to Malaysia and say hello to United Kingdom..

Flying high and will never come back

I wanna study there, work there and live my life there...

Bukan sebab nak tinggalkan terus my family..

But then just wanna stay far from them..

And just meet each other once a year.. 

Thats enough I think...

Tapi nanti mesti orang ckp.. tak sedar diri la..

Kacang lupakan kulit la...

And I just can say...

WHATEVER DUDE!! I KNOW WHAT IM DOING...KO JELES KAN??

Haha.. its not Im totally forget about my parents..

Aku still jaga welfare parents, but then from far la kan..

Bukan tak boleh contact... Skrg kan dunia hujung jari...

Apa susah.. klik2 parents dh depan mata..hehe

Actually, pe yang aku bebel-bebel ni sebab nak ckp..

To all new parents or parents to be outside there...

Tolong jgn kongkong anak2 too much..

In very tight way.. sebab nanti dorg confirm pasang cita2 macam aku..

I bet you guys...

To be honest... This is the result of my parents' didikan...

Sebab pe?? Sebab masa kecik dulu too much kongkongan too much 'controllan'..

In some cases, might be worse than me...

So fikir2 kan lah...

Yes Its not easy to grow up a little baby..

To teach a rebel teenagers...

To deal an adulthood son and daughter..

I knew it.. Tapi berpada la...

Jangan sampai anak kita balas this kind of dendam to us...

Dendam yang tak nampak..

Dendam perasaan dan jiwa...

London, United Kingdom

This post not to condemn my lovely parents...

Its just to share to you what I felt before.. What I will do in future..

Thats it... In other side, maybe it can guide you on how to deal with your children later on..

And Goodluck...

Pray for my dream...

Dream to say...

GOODBYE MALAYSIA

&

HELLO UNITED KINGDOM